It happened again the other day. Occasionally over the years students have accidentally called me "miss" rather than "sir" - the conventional form of address in schools here. I'm "straight acting" - students never imagine that I am gay. I'm not overly masculine, but then again I'm not remotely effeminate. When it happens the students (almost always male) are a little embarrassed when they realise. I don't take offence, they are usually students that I get on with. I just join in the general amusement it provokes.
I used to think it reflected weakness, but now I don't think so. Maybe there is something caring, a little maternal perhaps, in my attitude. Students seem to pick up something subconsciously. I take it as a compliment now. I'm doing my bit to break down gender stereotypes: people are people with a huge diversity of traits, some male and some female. It's an example I'm happy to set, especially to teenagers.
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Welcome to Micky, and to Biki and Malcolm, two writers whose blogs have featured in my wanders around the internet for a while now. Quite a few times I've wanted to comment, I've begun comments, but never found the right voice. Whatever I say seems to sound trite and banal in comparison with the post, so I never quite hit "publish". It's silly, I know.
In other blog news Charlie (boyintree: see my blog list) is saying goodbye. It's sad that he wont be posting any more of course, but I guess it is a good thing too. He appears to be doing well, and no longer needs the blog to express the darker thoughts flowing from his abuse and eating disorders. If you haven't come across him before, read it, he made some amazing posts.
Oh hi! and thanks for the welcome!
ReplyDeleteOf course you should leave your comments on my blogs anyway.
Dunno but maybe 'Miss' for 'Sir' is just a lack of concentration? Or even over-concentration. There's a great deal going on in your head when you're in school and particularly as a teenager and some of the guys are probably trying so hard not to say something silly and get laughed at that they then do.
Well, I sometimes still do just that when I concentrate too hard on saying the right thing and I end up saying exactly what I didn't want to.
Sure, that's what I put it down to the first few times. But it doesn't happen to any of my colleagues, male or female. So I'm left wondering...
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for the mention but please leave your comments I love getting any sort of reaction to the tales I tell.
ReplyDeleteI can understand your concerns over the "Miss" incidents I suppose that context is the real issue here and how this makes you feel is probably the most important factor. In their confused way the students might actually be trying to be nice to you!
Greetings right back at ya! Leave your worries at the door, whatever you feel is important I'm sure it won't be trite or banal.
ReplyDeleteIt's rather odd that they call you "Miss". It does give one pause after really thinking about it. Wonder what it is that they are picking up on? There must be something driving your being called "Miss". And I really bet they dont mean it in a bad way, but on a certain level, I'm almost thinking it's a complement.
All I do know is this, my boys call me "dude" and have for years. So, on some level they have picked up my true gender, without realizing it.
Isn't life full of wonder mystery?
What grade do you teach?
ReplyDeleteSorry that was a stupid question. My name is Madison, and I'm pretty sure I'm a male ;P So yeah, I know all about being called a girl's name or title. It may be nice to be called miss occasionally, but I must inform you that the Latin word for "death" is in fact feminine in gender.
ReplyDeleteThat question is fine, I teach the last 2 or 3 years of high school. I like the thing of playing with people's expectation when they meet you for the first time: "wtf you're a guy!". I guess you got tired of that a long, long time ago.
ReplyDeleteOf course! La mort. Death is the other, tempting us with her her dark attractions. Sex and death, now there's a theme for all time.